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Pigpen's POLCAT Page
Things you wish you could say on an EPR

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"He could screw up a one-man rock fight."


"His airmen would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."


"I would not allow this airman to breed."


"This airman is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."


"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."


"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."


"This airman has delusions of adequacy."


"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."


"This airman should go far-and the sooner he starts, the better."


"This airman is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."


"She is not the sharpest knife in the drawer."


"He got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."


"He has a room temperature I.Q."


"He's got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."


"A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."


"Has a photographic memory, but the lens cap is glued on."


"She's a prime canidate for natural deselection."


"He's as bright as Alaska in December."


"One celled organisms outscored him on the WAPS test.


"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."


"He's so dense light bends around him."


"If brains were taxed, she'd get a rebate."


"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."


"It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."


"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."


"He's about as smart as a box of hammers."


"He's far from stupid-so far, in fact, that the light from stupid would take a million years to reach him."


"Couldn't find his rear end with a flashlight, a map, and two hunting dogs."


"The clue bird hasn't landed for him yet."